Dating in your teens and 20s is fun. This unknown, carefree part of life is often the main attraction in your social life during these early years, but the excitement and pleasure of dating does not have to end with your 20s. While some people are disappointed to still be dating while in their 30s, it is a well known fact that your 30s are when men and women reach their peak physically and emotionally, and there are many positive aspects to dating free of the restraints of your immature youth while in the prime of your life.
Your 30s might have you in a negative head space when it comes to dating. You might be feeling a little too mature for the bar and club scene, but you know that you are also too young to throw in the towel. So, your dating life has fallen into a slump. You are swimming in unknown waters and don’t know what to do next. Don’t let this uncertainty ruin what could be the best time for dating in your life. Implement some of these tips and see how you can date better in your 30s.
1. Date for Keeps
Dating in your 30s can still be fun, but that’s not all it should be. The advantage of dating in your 30s is that you have life experience. Chances are you’ve been through one or two (or more) bad relationships, and now you have a clear picture of what you do and don’t want in a partner. You use to wonder, “Are my standards too high?” and now you can confidently say, “I know what my standards are.” This means you no longer have to waste your time dating someone who is clearly not right for you.
2. Use Your Resources
There are many dating devices you can take advantage of to make the most of your dating life. Dating websites have impressive rates of success for happy couples, and there are dating groups for singles in their 30s that meet in person for preset activities. Be creative and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone for new dating experiences.
3. Take Advantage of the 30s Appeal
While women in their 30s are too young to be considered “cougars”, they are still old enough for their maturity to appeal to younger men who are still well within dating age. CNN recently posted an article on their website about “Cougars in Training”. They highlighted successful couples with differing numbers at the beginning of their ages who are compatible and happy. And, let’s be honest, men only get better as they get older. Men in their 30s are appealing to younger women in a way they have never been before.
4. Be Realistic about Where You Are in Life
If you are dating in your 30s, you might also be dating as a single parent or with the baggage of a past marriage. Be honest with yourself about where you are in life and what has happened to you, and don’t lead any prospective partners to believe you are untethered or carefree if you are not.
5. Embrace Your Body’s Changes
Your 30s often brings about a change in your body. Embrace those changes! Rock your new found curves or fuller physique. Get new clothes that make you feel comfortable and sexy for the ultimate confidence while dating.
6. Learn from Your Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes in their younger dating life. Learn from those mistakes so that you don’t needlessly repeat them in your 30s. If you’ve learned that you aren’t compatible with musicians or athletes, open yourself up to new people. If you were at fault in past relationships because of unfounded anger or jealousy, take the time to work through those issues before pursuing new relationships.
7. Be Fearless
At this point in your life, you’ve probably encountered rejection from previous romantic relationships, and those scars are hard to get rid of. Try your best to not let those scars and your resulting fear of rejection stop you from fully engaging in a healthy and active dating life in your 30s. If you don’t, you might be missing out on something really great and permanent.
8. Look for Reliable instead of Really Fun
The main prerequisite that many people in their teens and 20s look for in a partner is fun. “He makes me laugh,” seems to be the big deciding factor for young people when they are dating, and while fun and laughter are definitely important, look for someone who will support you and displays the characteristics of someone you can rely on instead. The fun will follow once you feel committed and supported.
9. Let People Set You Up
It’s time to stop declining all those offers from friends and family to set you up. Take a leap and go on a blind date orchestrated by those who know you best. Sometimes those closest to us can see what it is we need in a partner when we can’t yet see it ourselves.
10. Be Confident
“Your 20s are for growing, and your 30s are for living,” my mom liked to say. Be confident in the person you’ve grown to be, and let that confidence take center stage in your dating life. You have been through the mistakes and the hurt, and you’ve been through good times too, so confidently move forward in the right direction toward the partner you want and deserve.