Online Dating – Mistakes To Avoid On The First Date – Part 2

We have already addressed a number of key mistakes to avoid and positive things to do on your first date in part 1 of this article. Here are a few more common mistakes to avoid if you want your date to be successful.

Don’t Be A Scrooge

No matter how careful you are with money, don’t over play the point. Nobody likes a stingy date and telling her what she can and can’t have if you’re picking up the tab will ensure you’re labeled as “El Cheapo Man”. It’s the first date, live a little and splurge. Who knows, this person you’re with could be your future, and what is your future happiness worth to you? I know I’m old-fashioned but I do believe a man should pay for dinner. It’s what a gentleman would do and I feel that’s a positive characteristic to show. If your date insists on paying her way then oblige her, never insist as it’s a woman’s right to have the comfort of not feeling obligated in any way to you.

Avoid Stories About The ‘Ex’

The next fatal error is the one delivered by “The Ex-Man”. It’s totally mind-blowing, but some guys will actually go on and on about their ex-partners. I know, women do it too, so this point relates equally to us all. No matter how pissed you are with them, raising the issues of past relationships is more than risky, it’s practically suicidal. If your partner raises the issue then sweep over some of the positives you may have had in your previous relationship and move on to another topic quickly. At least this shows your character is not ill willed and should put your down for a positive score. This topic will come up if your first date turns into something more serious and there will be future opportunity to discuss the issues but just keep it in the closet for now.

Wait For Her Signal

Next is the issue most if not all men have struggled with at some point in their lives, the first goodnight kiss. This is a case for “Baci Man!” There’s a reasonably simple rule to apply here, if she hasn’t given you any obvious signals then don’t force it. If you make the move to early she could easily withdraw and spoil the mood that you’ve spent the last few hours creating. Someone actually asked me once if a handshake might be more appropriate if you’re not sure. Unbelievable, are men really that stupid? That would be worse than complete avoidance as it’s such an impersonal gesture. At the very least a hug or warm body contact like holding a hand is more appropriate if you don’t think your date is ready for that first kiss. A kiss on the cheek is reasonably appropriate and not going to push over any boundaries. If she is keen to take it further then let her direct some of the traffic from that point.

How Will She Find You?

The issues raised above are the points of primary concern but I also think it’s worth raising a few minor issues that may help lead to a more successful occasion for both of you. Make sure your date knows what you look like prior to meeting, there’s nothing worse than walking through a crowded venue looking for someone you don’t know. Perhaps suggest you will have a red shirt on or something like that, it will reduce some of the pressure on your date.

Are You A Smoker?

If you’re a smoker, get it on the table prior to meeting up. Some potential partners will not care or even smoke themselves, but some will be offended and find it very off-putting. It’s easier to avoid any awkward moments and inform your date prior to meeting. Don’t try to hide it either, non-smokers can pick a smoker a mile off and they will smell it on you no matter how much mouth-wash you use.

Don’t Talk ‘Dirty’

Try to avoid the sex talk, unless of course they raise the subject. I once spoke with a girl online who told me the guy she met for a dinner date the night before used the opening line “Do you give a good BJ?” Classy stuff and needless to say they didn’t even make it to a first drink let alone the entre. Some people are quite comfortable with the concept of talking about this subject but leave it to them to introduce the topic. Most girls I have spoken with tell me it’s a real turn-off when guys go straight for the subject of sex. It tends to send a message suggesting that sex is your only intention.

Avoid The ‘Garlic’

Be careful what you order in the way of food. Meals with high quantities of garlic or onions for example might taste great but they are going to prove a problem later in the evening. No girl is going to want to give you a good night kiss or more if you stink of the meal you consumed three hours ago. It’s pretty obvious I know but necessary to point out.

Whatever you do on that first date try to avoid some of the above mistakes and keep it simple. Give your date your undivided attention and make them as comfortable as possible. Remember the nerve’s you’re feeling she most likely is as well so the more relaxed the environment the better off you both will be.