Senior Dating – Do We Ever Outgrow the Need For Intimacy?

Intimacy is wonderful. For young couples, it’s cotton candy. For seniors, it’s molten gold. It can enrich your years and, simply put, make you feel good – and loved. So why do I hear comments like, “I don’t want to be bothered with that stuff. I don’t need it any more?” Some women I know make it sound like medicine with an expired label when, in fact, intimacy can be a cure for what ails you.

Whoa! I’m not necessarily talking about sex – though I think that’s wonderful, too.I’m talking about affection. There are, after all, a lot of men in their 50s and beyond who have cardiac disease and have been advised by their physicians that for them the Little Blue Pill is “poison.” And some women fear that because they’re older, intercourse will be impossible without discomfort. (Not true. There are many lubricants in drug stores available without prescription that take care of that problem.) And they worry that their bodies aren’t as seductive as they once were. But, hey, men don’t look like they could wrestle the governor of California anymore either. But for many senior women (I’m thinking of one in particular) hugging, passionate kissing, and pillow talk are the best part of their relationship.

It takes time to develop that kind of relationship. Not one or two dates. More like half a dozen. And sometimes – because some men can’t start a fire unless you put a torch in their hands – it’s the woman who has to be the aggressor. Personal experience. A few years back, I dated a really nice man afflicted with a severe case of shyness. On the fifth date, he gave me a brief peck on the lips. On the sixth, when he repeated that, I went on the offensive. “Come, come,” I said, “I want a real kiss!” He gave me a Hollywood kiss that even George Clooney couldn’t equal. And that was a signal to both of us that intimacy was now a distinct possibility. So, do we ever outgrow intimacy? Never. And (all the studies on longevity show) we never outgrow the need for it either.